Dating for potential can get expensive

Updated: Jan 2, 2021

If you are anything like me it doesn’t take long after the initial conversation that you start to plan your future. Analyzing characteristics through conversation, thinking about the future. Talking about dreams, goals, and aspirations. The perfect conversation for building potential.

Then the relationship starts and they begin to show you everything but the qualities you daydreamed of.

The red flags are there, you see that the pieces don’t fit and honestly, you don’t really like the way this is going.

So what now? Stay? Leave? I mean its been months even years you’ve invested. But you think he or she has all these goals, aspirations and good qualities!

What do you do?

Well here’s what typically happens,

You stick it out. Give them a chance to figure it out and grow into who they have the potential to be. Shortly after the excuses start rolling in.

Mainly for their actions and your unhappiness.

Completely sacrificing who you are so it makes it easier for you to take whatever they‘re giving.

You tell yourself things like, it’s because of their past misfortunes. They didn’t have the best examples. A little more time. It’s honestly not that bad.

Then you look up and days have turned into months and months into years and you're still waiting around for them to do better and be better.

Eventually, you’ll have to really ask yourself how much are you willing to pay for their potential?

Dating for potential is emotionally taxing and a huge investment!

You’re forced to put a lot of trust in the future while ignoring the present. It’s a serious gamble that usually doesn’t payout.

But the real question is why do we do it if it causes so much emotional stress?

Well for me it was easier for me to accept the idea that change was coming over the idea that someone could really be ok with not being a better version of themselves. Especially when they had all the tools to succeed.

And then there's the occasional splashes of hope they add right when you need them. I’m working on it or the I’ll do betters.

Truth is people will do what’s necessary. Especially to get what or who they want. That was a hard reality for me to face. If being a better man or woman financially, spiritually and emotionally is really what they desire to do they will do what’s necessary. But only if the changes are something that they want for themselves no matter what they say.

Let’s stop dating for potential and embrace reality! Let actions speak when the words repeat. Approach the relationship with what you see is what you get mentally. That way you aren’t let down if changes aren’t made. The person you want to change isn’t forced to be someone they aren’t and the relationship isn’t built off condition.

Lastly don’t allow yourself to measure what you deserve by the amount of time you spent unhappy!

Although dating for potential can get expensive your peace is priceless. If they haven’t changed by now chances are they won’t and if they do and your still emotionally available I’m sure they know where to find you.

But don’t wait too long for it.

Your creation of balance is essential to your survival.

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